It was a morning like most others. My alarm woke me from a dead sleep while darkness still blanketed the sky. I say alarm loosely, because I actually haven't set my clock for over a month. My alarm is my cat, and he is rather effective at his new-found task. Furry paws batting at my face, accompanied by a relentless meowing. "Hey, good morning," Finny says to me...or maybe it's "Wake up, jerk. I'm hungry." I don't really mind. Though I didn't go to sleep until about one in the morning, I lately haven't found need for more than four or five hours of sleep each night.
I stumble lazily out of bed, with Finnegan not more than a couple feet ahead of me the whole way. As I slowly make my way from the bedroom to the kitchen, he keeps looking back at me. "Are you coming, or what??"--"Yes, Finny. I'm getting there." (Ok, so I talk to my cat occasionally...) When I pull out his bag of cat food, Finny's excitement becomes even more noticeable, almost tangible. In my hands I hold his ambrosia, his food of the gods. They should make a cat food called Ambrosia. Most cats do think they're gods anyway.
My breakfast consists of the usual random cereal that I blindly reach for from the top of the refrigerator. It's Froot Loops this time. "Yay! I love those!" My anticipation is quickly subdued, however, when I take the first bite and realize that they've become stale. "I don't think I bought these that long ago..." No matter. I'm hungry and have no desire to make something else. Besides, I'm not a picky eater, evidenced by my rather plump physique.
Shortly after eating, I have one of those "lost" moments. "What the heck am I going to do?? Oh right, I have that research paper to continue working on. Eh, whatever." I decide to step outside for a few moments and breathe in some fresh air. I don't bother putting shoes on. I'm not sure why I made that decision, but I suspect it was probably made for me, for reasons I would soon discover.
It's humid outside this morning, but the temperature is still low, and the cool breeze is enough to keep it comfortable. Neighbor kids trudge along with their overloaded, scoliosis-inducing backpacks. Parents scurry about in their frantic daily routines. "Gotta pick up the clothes at the dry cleaner. Got that meeting at one o'clock. Little Timmy needs to be picked up after school. Still have to figure out what to make for dinner." While being unemployed right now is an inconvenience, for a second, I'm thankful I don't have all that prework fuss to worry about.
I step out onto the grass, still wet from yesterday's series of torrential downpours. The blades of grass creep up between my toes, and the sensation makes me giggle. My feet squish the earthen sponge below me. My attention is now drawn to the ground rather than the neighborhood activity around me. I stop abruptly, however, when I come to the edge of a shallow puddle. It's unremarkable in appearance, just a standard collection of rainwater that has yet to be imbibed by the ground. Though it's quite dirty, I can see my reflection. "Wow, when did I get so old?" I'm not really that old, only 30, but there are times when it seems my age would be better expressed in dog years than human years. Life recently has been such a cavalcade of ups and downs, success and failure, satisfaction and disappointment, that I fear it has started to show on my face.
My initial instinct is to turn back and start my day. Spending the entire day wandering aimlessly will accomplish nothing, and who is a man if he does nothing? But as I continue staring at myself, a wave of abandon hits me. I look up just long enough to see who is around. There are a couple of older women standing outside smoking their morning cigarettes and consuming what I assume is coffee, perhaps with a little alcoholic spike to them. Who knows? A sly grin spreads across my face, and in a moment of childish revelry, I launch myself into the puddle feet first.
The water is cold, and I wonder if I may have just inadvertently sent myself into shock by exposing myself to such a drastic decrease in temperature. But no, I'm fine. The water is just deep enough to cover my ankles, but the splash is sufficient to bombard me with muddy droplets clear up to my thighs. I look pitiful, standing there in my t-shirt and sleeping shorts. Athletic shorts, actually, but I use them for night wear. I probably look like a homeless ne'er-do-well. Then it hits me...
Laughter. Uncontrollable, uninhibited, honest-to-goodness laughter. The kind of laughter that brings tears to your eyes, and sends your stomach muscles into spasms. It's an amazing feeling, being so carefree. Chills run through my body as I laugh at my own stupidity. "What the heck possessed me to do that?" I quickly look back at the old women standing outside, who are now staring at me like I have roaches crawling out of my ears. I don't look away. I proudly wave at them and say "Hi!" They glance at each other briefly, then turn back to me and wave back, smiling. It's a stark contrast to the response I got from the woman in the gas station last night, and it makes me smile even more broadly.
I step out of the puddle, my feet now soaking and my body trembling from the combination of cold water and chilly winds. I walk back to my apartment door, a bit more hurriedly. "Dang, I'm freezing!" When I get inside, Finny looks up at me and meows "You're a moron," then turns away and goes back to his breakfast which he has yet to finish. I chuckle again, and think about what just happened.
Children make it a point to jump in any body of water they encounter. Is it simply because they like being dirty? Do they enjoy aggravating their parents? No, it's none of those. It's freedom. It's a simple attempt to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. All too often, we as adults become engrossed in the banalities of daily existence. We forget how to just enjoy life. I realize that, while responsibility and commitment are necessary to exist, it is also necessary--crucial, in fact--to allow ourselves an occasional deviation from those commitments, even if only for a few seconds. Kids don't care. Their life is all about those deviations, and now I understand again why they do such irrational things.
So yes, it's been an interesting morning, and one that I won't soon forget. Now, back to my kitchen. I have some muddy footprints to mop up. Maybe I'll leave them there for a little while, just as a gentle reminder...
NOTE TO READERS: When you are out with your children, and you see the anticipation in their eyes when they approach a small pond or puddle of water, remember how it must feel to be a kid again. And before you reprimand them, remember how it was to enjoy such easy, simple pleasures. I encourage you to go a step further; do it yourself. Jump in with your child. Show them that mommy and daddy are human too, and that it's ok to be silly. Or just do it when you're by yourself one day. You may find more benefit from it yourself than your child will. I know I certainly enjoyed it.
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