Life has been a bit complicated lately. I've been dealing with personal issues - some trivial, some pretty serious. It's nothing new for anyone; that's just how life is. I'm not sure you could really call it "life" if it didn't include some struggles (though I wish some of those struggles were a little less intense, or would just go away). I've had a lot of time to analyze myself, but more than just that, I've had time to analyze the people around me. I've looked at what my relationship with each of those persons really means. I've learned that friendship can't be clearly and adequately defined in a dictionary. There's so much more to it.
I'm a list person. I make a to-do list almost every day. I figured, rather than a long-winded essay about what friendship means to me, I'd write a list. Some may agree or disagree with my list, but it's what life has taught me. By typing this list, I'm also not suggesting that friends and family are mutually exclusive. This list applies to both...at least to real friends and real family.
1. Friends are there when you need them, but they're not psychic. You have to reach out to them.
2. Friends can accept that what might seem trivial to them can be a big deal to you, and they're willing to treat is as a big problem...because it matters to you.
3. When you have a friend, no problem is ever really just YOUR problem.
4. When you have a friend, no pain is ever really just YOUR pain.
5. Friends don't dismiss you.
6. When you're concerned about bothering someone, friends don't just say "you're not bothering me" - they actually mean it.
7. Friends know when, and when NOT, to make a joke.
8. Friends may not believe in your choices, but that doesn't mean they don't still believe in you.
9. Friends will help you when you want it, and they will force help on you when you need it.
10. Friends know that sometimes the best thing they can do for you is give you a swift kick in the butt.
11. Friends know when you're not being completely honest, no matter how good you are at hiding the truth from others.
12. Friends will do favors for you and expect nothing in return - but that makes you want to work that much harder to pay them back.
13. Friends are without pretense.
14. Friends understand you, and in the rare instances that they don't, they'll make the effort to try.
15. Friends know the importance of actions over words - friends don't always say "I love you" or "I care", but they make it apparent in what they do.
16. Friends want you to be happy, even if it might somehow conflict with what they want.
17. If someone is going to be your friend, you have to let them be your friend.
18. Friends can hurt you, but if the friendship means anything to either of you, you will find some way to work things out.
19. Friends may not always like some of your other friends, and you may not always like some of their friends. What matters is that YOU are still friends.
20. Friends will listen to you, even when it's something they don't want to hear.
21. Friends aren't afraid to tell you something YOU don't want to hear. (goes with #20)
22. Friends don't tolerate your eccentricities; they love you for them.
And perhaps even more importantly,
23. Friendship can't be a one-way relationship. For all that you receive, you have to be willing to give.
And with all that being said, I think I'll have a drink - and raise a small toast to all of those who are my friends.
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